Have you ever poured your heart into a message, only to be met with nothing but a quick emoji or worse, silence?
It sounds small, right? But when it happens over and over, it starts to hurt. Unfortunately, that has been my reality lately. I try to strike up conversations with my friends online, and instead of genuine replies, I get short reactions. No follow-ups. No effort to engage. Just distance.
And it is not just conversations. Even when I share funny memes or videos, the kind I know will make them laugh, I get nothing back. No comments, no playful banter, not even a “haha.” Just silence. It is like I am sending messages into a void.
For a long time, I told myself, They are probably busy. Life gets overwhelming sometimes, and not everyone can be glued to their phone. But deep down, it still stings, you know? When you consistently show up for people, yet they do not show up for you, you start to feel invisible.
And I know I am not alone in this. Maybe you have felt it too, that quiet ache of being overlooked online.
Why Online Connection Matters More to Me
For me, online connection is not just about casual chatting; it is essential. I used to live in the city, but I moved to a rural area to escape the crushing rent costs. Life here is quieter and simpler, but it also comes with isolation. I do not have the luxury of bumping into my friends at a café or calling them up for a spontaneous dinner.
When I want to see them, it means traveling two to three hours each way. And I do it. I make the effort because friendships matter to me. But the painful truth is that they do not do the same for me.
That is why online conversations matter so much. It is the thread that keeps me connected to the people I care about. But when that thread weakens, when my messages are left hanging and my memes go unnoticed, it feels like I am slowly losing them.
The Quiet Hurt of Being Ignored
The tricky thing about online friendships is that neglect is not loud. There is no big argument, no dramatic unfriending. It is just subtle. A “seen” message. A heart emoji. Silence.
But silence has weight. If this were happening face-to-face, imagine telling a joke or sharing something exciting, and the other person just blankly stares. We would instantly know something was wrong, right? Online, though, we brush it off. We tell ourselves we are overreacting.
Yet the feeling is real. It hurts to feel like you are putting in effort for people who do not even notice.
Realizing I Am Always the One Trying
Here is what I noticed. I was always the one initiating. Always the one reaching out. Always the one asking, How are you?
Friendship shouldn’t feel so one-sided. Yes, technology makes it easier than ever to stay connected, which is what social media platforms promise, and yet somehow it feels like it’s pulling us further apart. It often leaves me wondering: is the problem the platform itself, or are the people I call friends simply not that invested in keeping in touch?
That is when it hit me. I need to stop chasing. If they do not make the effort, why am I carrying the whole connection on my back?
The Trap of Being Too Available
When you are always available, you sometimes lose your value and get taken for granted. People get so used to you being there that they forget it is a choice you make every day.
They Say Happiness Comes From Within… But We Are Human
People often say, “Never rely on others for happiness; find it within yourself.” And yes, I agree that self-love and inner peace are important. But the truth is, we are social creatures. We crave friendships, connection, and validation.
It is human nature to want to feel seen, heard, and cared for. And if I am not getting that from the people I call my friends, then maybe I do not have real friends at all.
It’s such a sad realization. It makes you question the bonds you thought were solid. It makes you wonder if you have been holding onto relationships that do not actually exist in the way you believed.
But Maybe This Is Just How Life Works
Maybe I just have to accept that as you grow older, your circle becomes smaller. Some people will stay, and some will just pass by. Maybe they are only meant to stay for a season and then leave.
I guess that is how relationships really work, right? Some are lifelong, but many are temporary. And maybe the truth is, they are not the relationships I should be nurturing anymore.
Maybe the relationship I should be nurturing first is really my own. I should be happy on my own first.
The Decision to Step Back
So, I’ve decided to step back and mirror their behavior. If they are unreachable, I will make myself unreachable too. Not to be petty, but to protect my energy. Not in anger, but out of self-respect.
Part of this shift means pulling away from my personal social media. Why keep posting photos, updates, memes, or thoughts if they are just going to be ignored? It is like speaking into a void.
Instead, I will focus on my business pages. Even if the engagement there is low, at least it is purposeful and an investment in something that matters to me.
So yes, for now, I will be a ghost online. I will not check in. I will not overthink who viewed my story or who did not. I will simply step away and breathe.
Instead of investing so much into friendships that leave me drained, I am redirecting my time into things that actually fill me up:
- Work – projects that keep me focused and productive
- Blogging – my little corner to write, reflect, and maybe connect with people who truly relate
- Quick travels – because nothing resets the spirit like a change of scenery
- Hobbies and new discoveries – there is so much to explore when you stop waiting for people to engage with you
Choosing Myself
This is not about cutting people out forever. It is about boundaries and understanding that my worth is not measured by replies, likes, or comments.
And maybe you need this reminder too. If you are always the one trying, reaching, and traveling miles just to keep a friendship alive, it is okay to step back to reclaim your energy and pour it into things that bring you joy.
Because at the end of the day, true friendships do not need chasing. They meet you halfway.
Final Thoughts
I am saying goodbye for now, at least in the personal online space (except for writing on this blog). I will be working, traveling, writing, and discovering new joys.
And if my friends notice my absence, great. If they do not, that is okay too.
Because I am finally learning that sometimes, the best way to take care of yourself is to stop waiting for people to notice and start choosing yourself.
Ciao, for now. ✨
Photo by Charlotte May
