Last month, I celebrated my birthday. It wasn’t the usual family gathering I’ve grown used to. Instead, I kept things simple, partly because I’m saving up for a dream I hope to make happen soon. I marked the day with a short trip back to the city, where I joined a small group gathering.
It wasn’t grand, but it was heartfelt. A few birthday wishes, warm greetings, and genuine smiles were enough to make me feel special. Sometimes, it’s not the big celebrations that matter. It’s the quiet affirmations that remind you that you’re seen and loved.
Now, here I am at 39, sitting with all the lingering thoughts that come with another year added to life. This age feels like a crossroad, one where people expect you to have checked certain boxes: marriage, kids, a neatly tied-up future plan.
But here’s the truth: I don’t want to live under that pressure anymore.
On Marriage and Kids
I often hear suggestions whenever the topic of children comes up. “Why not freeze your eggs?” Or “You can always go for artificial insemination.” Others suggest adoption. And while all of these are valid, they come with one thing I don’t currently have: money.
Freezing eggs and artificial insemination cost a lot, and adoption isn’t simple either. Beyond the financial aspect, there’s something deeper. I’ve surrendered this part of my life to God.
If it’s His will that I become a mother someday, then I’ll gladly embrace that gift with full responsibility. But for now, I don’t want to force something just because society says I should. The pressure to marry or have kids by a certain age is heavy, and honestly, unnecessary. My timeline doesn’t have to match anyone else’s.
Choosing to Trust Instead of Stress
What I’ve realized is that letting go is freeing. Instead of worrying about what I don’t have yet, I want to enjoy the blessings that are already here. I believe God wants me to savor this season of singleness, to use the time to grow, to experience life fully, and to stop seeing my worth through the lens of someone else’s expectations.
Being 39 and single doesn’t mean you’re doomed to loneliness. It doesn’t mean your story is over. It just means your story looks different, and that’s perfectly okay.
Redefining This Season
I used to think getting older meant I was running out of time. But now, I see it differently. Yes, sometimes I feel “old,” but I’ve also been told I look younger than my age (Check out my post about looking younger but feeling old). And I’ve come to embrace that as a strength. Youthful on the outside, wiser on the inside, it’s not a bad combination.
Singleness at 39 gives me freedom. The freedom to choose how I spend my days. The freedom to pursue dreams that excite me. The freedom to focus on becoming the best version of myself without the noise of expectations dictating my every move.
I’ve been in relationships that weren’t right for me, and I’ve learned enough from those experiences to know that I’d rather wait, or even walk alone, than settle for less than what I deserve. That realization, in itself, feels empowering.
Finding Joy in the Journey
Maybe that’s what this age is teaching me, that life isn’t about racing toward milestones. It’s about being present, grateful, and open to what’s ahead. Whether marriage or children are in the cards for me someday, I don’t need to panic.
For now, I want to focus on living my best days yet. That means chasing dreams, nurturing my faith, cherishing the people who celebrate me in simple ways, and continuing to grow into someone I’m proud to be.
Because 39 isn’t the end of possibilities. It’s just another chapter. And this chapter, for me, is about freedom, trust, and joy.
Photo by Pixabay
