For the longest time, I’ve been feeling like I’ve just been going through the motions, not really living my life the way I want it to be. It’s like I’ve been stuck in this weird, dark place, longing for the days when life was simpler—when I was just a kid without any real responsibilities. 

Back then, my biggest worry was what game I’d play after school or whether I could go out with my friends to have fun. Everything seemed so much easier, and I miss that feeling of being surrounded by people who genuinely cared about me, and who made me feel safe and loved.

Now, as an adult, everything feels so different. I can’t help but notice how much I’ve lost that spark, that enthusiasm for life. It’s like somewhere along the way, I just stopped caring. Meeting new people, building relationships—it all feels like such a chore. And to be honest, social media hasn’t helped at all. 

I’ve grown to hate it because it seems like everyone else is out there living these amazing lives, showing off their perfect relationships, and just thriving. Meanwhile, I’m sitting here feeling like I’m stuck in a rut, watching everyone else move forward while I’m left behind.

It’s been a long time since I felt truly alive, and I’ve been letting myself wallow in it. I’ve realized that I can’t keep having a pity party for myself every day, waiting for something—or someone—to come along and magically make everything better. I’ve been waiting for somebody to save me, but the truth is, that somebody needs to be me. No one else is going to swoop in and fix my life for me. 

How can I expect someone else to help me when I haven’t even helped myself, right?

If I want things to get better, I HAVE TO be the one to MAKE IT HAPPEN!

It’s up to me to pull myself out of this funk and start living again. I may not have all the answers right now, and honestly, I’m not even sure what I want anymore. 

But I know one thing…

I can’t keep living like this.

So, I’m making a decision. I’m done with the self-pity. It’s time to start finding joy in life again, even if it means starting small, and even if my journey’s going to be slow.

Little by little, I’m going to start adding more fun and joy into my life again. I’m going to stop comparing myself to others and start paying attention to what makes me happy. It’s time to let go of the past and stop living in the shadow of what used to be. 

I may not know exactly where I’m headed, but I’m determined to spend my life figuring it out. And with the help of this blog to document my journey, that feels like a good place to start.